It’s February. It’s past Valentines and currently a Panagbenga season but I still am very single right now. I am not deliberately saying this to dangle the bait for guys who want a date-or maybe I am-but I do realize why Panagbenga season hurts everyone’s singlehood.
I have never realized how it ruins the mood and hurts my state of being single when I once had a soul searching stroll along the skirts of Burnham Lake in the late afternoon and pass the infamous Lover’s Lane. What’s not to notice when all of them are lovers cuddling each other in the cold climate and staring at the moving swan boats on the lake while they cross their arms and eat each other’s Shawarma? Either that, or the couples who were inseparably holding each other’s hand while going through the crowds of the jam-packed roads of Burnham that was closed for the bazaar. They get to be as close as they can to each other while they publicly display their cute, socially insecuring act of conversing what to buy next or settling if the foot long burger is to be divided into two or can be eaten together by them.
I tried being devoid of such feeling as I deem them unnecessary, and at times hurtful, to my singlehood. My avoidance of the feeling and the idea of me being single was never enough a compromise for an early-adulthood stage. This so worsens because of the couples enjoying everything together what the Panagbenga highlights has to offer. All I have is me and my friends who go home to their own provinces every weekend.
I do recognize that this feeling is so bitter that I can, at some point, extract some insulin from it.
However, for some reasons, I came to understand that Panagbenga Season should be an opportunity for everyone to fulfill their needs in term of social, economical and emotional. Panagbenga should trigger a festive mood to everyone, and as a partner-less me, I needed to engage myself to use this festive mood, not to sink myself more with singlehood as an anchor.
So I went for an early morning jog again by the Burnham Lake. After I did my usual eight rounds, I went to a bench first to cool myself down. The sun was already up and I cannot fail to notice the sudden increase of people who pass by me. I was doing a routine of stretching when I accidentally bumped into somebody who was passing right behind me. As a social convention, I looked back to say sorry, only to see a tourist behind me. He stopped, smiled and asked for directions. I answered politely, but then I felt the urge to ask him if what brought him to Baguio is some Panagbenga job. He fixed his backpack and told me, “to meet ladies like you.” Good thing there’s still a Session in Bloom highlight to enjoy this Panagbenga Season. 😉